If her heart had drummed so loudly inside that board room, it seemed to be subdued now. Voidness engulfed her as she rode back home after 8 well spent hours. The humming melody in the radio didn’t help it at all. Her own actions and reactions astounded her. Her mind reeled. Wasn’t she the focussed girl who’s priority list was devoid of Complicated relationships? Now suddenly what is all this “falling in Love”?
Woah! Screamed the sane part of her brain..ok! Cool. She gulped down some water. That L word scared her. Very much. When did it happen? What was “that” conclusion about L word? It was confusing, nauseating and she wanted to switch off the ignition and bolt away. It wasn’t that someone professed their love to her. It was she who is in her imaginary world.
Suddenly she felt very lonely. She missed Renu. But this situation warranted no involvement of Renu. Who would want to complicate the already burning situation. And for the umpteenth time her mind chided “ the man-of-your-thoughts had not deviated his concentration from work for a single minute, throughout the day”. It angered her. She wanted to build a career, nurture her passion, achieve heights. This feeling was occupying the major part of her day and sometimes nights too. She had always worked hard for herself. She had never expected appreciations at home or at work or had ever tried to impress someone. This sudden feeling was slowly breaking her resolves. It didn’t make her feel good, rather gave her nervousness. At that moment, she loathed herself for getting tangled in this mess.
She freshened up, scrubbed herself clean and came down for dinner. Dinner was always a close family gathering. Her parents were simple people who appreciated each other’s interests and discussed constructive topics during family hours. Even though her mother kept bringing the “marriage” topic in a polite way every day, she loved the positivity of the environment in their table.
As usual, when that subject was broached, Aanya felt uneasy and jumpy, whereas her mom spoke confidently about her daughter’s capability to select a right partner.
Aanya mentally rolled her eyes!.
Whenever her mom’s eyes met hers, she felt that her mom saw through her mind and heart.
Today, I should have some heart to heart with mom without giving her much of those personal details. She braved herself.
But the very idea of covering up the effects of her fluttering heart that danced around at the very thought of “that” man, creeped her out. Not just a man, but A man who sees you as “just another” employee her mind pitched in as usual to her annoyance.
She felt very self conscious all of a sudden. She herself didn’t know if it was
a simple silly crush and also was clueless about acknowledging the new found feelings.
Do women go ahead to confess their love? Or do they wait? For sure the man of her interest is never even going to throw any dreamy or appreciative glances at her, proposal was a distant dream. At the moment, she ran out of Movie references. Forget a proposal from the man, his rejection? It might happen!!! Was that the reason for her denial?.
Her eyes were glued to a small Buddha fountain in their living room. Home! The word sinked in to give her some calmness and courage.
The random shuffling and trickling of the cutlery pulled her out of the thought cloud. She looked up to find a gentle smile adorning her mom’s face who had, for sure read all the texts on her thought cloud. Why was she this transparent to her mom?. Could anything be more defiant and exasperating than this? She pushed her chair to get done with the uneasiness.
Do you want to talk for sometime? Mom’s patient question was all that took to Break the dam. For the next 20 mins her mom listened to her rants, ramblings about her meeting and details of her work, with a smile that was so genuine and filled with pride. Aanya felt light.
Family can solve problems and give peace. The confidence her mom Oozed gave her some strength for that moment. Strength that cheered her up. She felt very relieved after a tiring day. When she told her mom that she was sleepy, it was for real. She felt sleepy after a very long time. Let the damn office wait for the dawn.
To be cont..