Ambivalence of the motherhood..
Motherhood is a surreal mix of reality and fantasy. Every day, a mother is torn between overflowing affection, attachment, adoration and indignation. A mother becomes a living contradiction. The baby knows only one way of expressing its discomfort, crying. Realisation of this fact, makes a mother more helpless. The sleepless nights and urge to nourish the baby is a vicious cycle. A mother grows with her baby. She learns to draw strength from her baby’s smiles, derives joy from regular tasks that binds them together and devotedly nurtures some of her best qualities.
That extra mile she walks, to give her best to her children, doesn’t tire her at all. Even during her difficult times, when she is torn asunder by the laws and realities of life, she draws lightning courage to move forward for the sake of her children.
She learns some basic principles of nirvana, to let go of things that does not happen her way, to unlearn things she has been conditioned to, to regain the equilibrium every time she drifts off track and to leave out the baggage she carries, for the benefit of her children. She imparts self love, trust, respect and humbleness into her children.
As she ages, she feels the sense of emptiness and longing about her children, reminiscing about her time with her children, their mischievousness and warm memories of her early motherhood days. The sense of ambivalence about missing those precious moments and the success of her grown up children, prevails. In Portuguese they say, “ Tenho saudade do que fomos” (I feel “saudade” of the way we were).
My heartfelt love and mothers day wishes to my mother, all those wonderful mothers and to-be moms out there.