There is a quote that says “Its not the years in your life that counts. Rather, it is the life in the years that counts". I find this quote to be very true.
We are born to laugh, cry, play, fall, bounce back, rejoice, grieve, work hard, relax, celebrate, break down and do much more. The order varies, cycle changes, challenges swings and result differs from person to person.
I have had my share of difficult times, family illness, medical emergencies, personal loss, forced decisions, resign from a regular life and weak moments for a considerable period of time. Been at cross roads lot of times and have felt lost, defeated and shut out from the term happiness. In fact we did not get to see life the way a normal person at late 20's did. Mostly my world revolved around taking tough calls and running around for family due to medical issues.
To simply put this, being challenged with precipitous life alterations and situations that were never a part of my dreams, magnified the fear of facing the next day. More than sadness it was the anxiety, loneliness and yearning for a normal life were my prominent expectations and experiences. These feelings vary from person to person.
It wasn’t even close to depression, but the sense of helplessness about the situation which kept continuing for years together was a disturbing factor. Even though fears, scars and scepticism were frequent visitors, I(we) did manage to bounce back every single time ready to take the challenges.
Thanks to the supreme power and dear ones, who walked me to the brighter side. Also, all these needed time to settle down. The “Time” to heal. Hibernation helped me to gather more strength. I was off the social media. I took refugee in Creative art, reading good books, and learning to write.
I assimilate that it is ok to take a break from fast moving world, sit back and heal oneself slowly. Some lone time is required to come back, if not more stronger. And working on us by consciously avoiding brooding, wallowing in self pity and raving about negativity that surrounds us, helps us to get back to brighter side much quicker. Our mantra was and is "hope is life" and "this too shall pass away". We earnestly replace our fear about future with these two mantras.
So, every time I experience the loss of identity, I learn to forgive myself and all the difficult situations I had faced.
This seems to be easy to be said than to be accepted and followed by mind. Mind goes back and front quite often. Even now, it is hard to come in terms with the variations life offers. It takes lot of self motivation and self assurance to not go back to that "why me?", especially after seeing someone else live life as per our original dream script.
But I have learnt few things from all the tough times and good people around me too.
1.To live in the present moment: Worrying about future doesn’t contribute to its betterment. And lamenting about past generates a sense of betrayal and low self esteem. So, I reiterate to myself that I would cross the bridge when it comes.
Power of now: by Eckhart Tolle is a wonderful recommendation.
2.Exhibiting Gratitude: I thank god for what I have and trust god to give me what I deserve. Gratitude towards all the people who have been helping me and staying put with me, generates a sense of happiness.
Change your thoughts, change your mind by , Dr. Wayne W. Dyer is a good read.
Strengthening the resilience skill in me, makes me happier, brighter and definitely healthier.
So as a book says, "Success is not measured by the no of falls in our life, but by the no of times we get up after every fall."