Childhood chronicles

I am also becoming a victim of “oh-my-god, im getting old” syndrome. The fully grown celebrities who were infants during my teenage days and my sub sub juniors candid wedding pics aggravates that illness. Even though outsiders claim that I’m still looking 20+ the lub dub organ inside the body refuses to soak in that warmth. I know my age. Come on, I had even memorised, the positions of planets in my horoscope (courtesy wedding chronicles).

P.S: If you are going for an arranged marriage, trust me you will soon learn horoscope-match making too.
And to top it this Mark guy, strikes a chord every time I sign in!

There is a saying “the older I get, the more I want to go back to child hood!”. Child hood was fun!
Right from hiding the report card and praying, sorry.. Literally begging Lord Rama to do the honor of signing on behalf of my father (Trust me i have written many “Sri Ramajayam’s” for such miracles to happen) to enacting the “fake fever “ syndrome. We enacted the drama like “pro’s”. Acting like we were being on the roadtrip to hell, till the sympathy part of the family members completely drained out and they kicked our ass out of the bed to school. Special credits to my not-so-innocent-sibling, who was my Guru  in this mission. If I managed to enact the drama once in a month, he did it probably twice a week. And I ensured people did not buy his act more than a once a month. I established Law of equality right from my childhood you see. In fact, we were so realistic that, my mom now feels very proud of our personal improvement regarding overcoming the fear factors attached to “ fever”. She says we handle fever better now-a-days.
I grew up In a slightly big family, where the living room was filled with minimum 5-6 people during the evenings. I was talkative, and so were my friends (of course, they had to be. They were my friends). We continued our after-school, after-tuition- gossips over the phone, well past the bed time. After all we couldn’t be blamed as we had 12 hours break to be back to school and continue our live- chit-chatting. This after school timing was fully utilized for planning and talking about how we miserably failed to impress teachers, how we were embarrassingly caught by the staff for our mischiefs and pranks and our punishment audiences, who teased whom and who hit on whom, how to enjoy weekends with limited or no cash-out flow, where to plan our next group gossip sessions, how to sneak out on weekends etc…In short, they were all useless gappas devoid of any knowledge inflow, according to my extended family living-room- assembly!.
But I can vouch that those sessions are the major shareholders of “My school memories”, than to the entamoeba histolyticas, differential calculus, or organic chemistry…
My family members were quite decent and have never bothered me about the details of my phone calls. But every time after handing over the phone to me, they used to “UN-intentionally”  take the closest spot to the phone and “very keenly” gape at the non living object in front of them as if they were to submit some report on the rigidity and robust-ability of that object “Very unconsciously” maintaining a pin drop silence.
They weren’t evesdropping! I totally mean it. Period!.
Inadvertently, after the click of the phone they would remember some important work and abruptly stop their inspection and disperse. I was no less. Not sure if I mastered integral calculus/probability/theory of light in my teenage, but I definitely mastered the art of whisper-into the–phone being audible only to the caller on the other end so that audience deciphered nothing.

Still, they being my  crazy family, never adjourned their assemble sessions till I completed my school.
As I grew up with a Sibling who Possessed quite commendable CBI-CID skills at that young age. I had to equip myself with the art of noticing the fact of being noticed keenly. The competition was tough as he kept improving his “watchful” techniques to match my smartness. His main job was to observe me and my routine (like I told you about his school attendance-so never mind). He had a track of all my friends, my daily schedules and my street food eateries, score cards etc. HE seized every opportunity, to complain about me to my parents with PROOFS!

Once my college friends visited my place and  after our closed room, round table discussion of college crap, we decided to go for a walk. My left out CBI sibling wanted me to buy him a CREAM BUN and I refused. He threw tantrums. I admonished it. So, he revenged by spitting out all my previous NOT-SO-GOOD gossips I have had with my mom, about that friend right on her face, very casually.
I was shocked, with jaws opened… my brain stopped working and screamed wattay?#$@! After watching his mouth raining out the crap and her reactions like a tennis match, I just wanted to vanish. The “Whooosh”  vanishing technique they show in the movies did not happen.
Instead I was shocked and angry beyond the realms of reacting. I was angry, embarrassed,  shocked, irritated all at once. The major contribution for such an emotional disaster was not the actual spat, but the fact that he did THE DAMAGE for what, JUST FOR A CREAM BUN!!!.
Somehow chided him, convinced her and then saw a wired expression on her face and a faint half smile that she gave. My Mind voice smartly reacted that “ run for your life.. Target convinced, Target confused- , leave before Target gets the real s@$&!!!!!!!!”. I stormed out with my friends….
After returning, I persuaded my parents to give him out for adoption. I tried my best convincing them that he was not their baby and probably got exchanged in hospital, which was unsuccessful like the previous infinity times. ..
Life got better when I got a job as he was just a teenager then.. I snatched his role. In fact I took full advantage of it. Tracking his calls, overhearing his conversations, stalking his then Orkut account and internet histories during his absence. I appended few more responsibilities like monitoring-his evening chaat shop expenditures and duly pointing it during the dinner assembly, convincing my parents that I had never wasted their money like him. Convincing implies, not closing my mouth till they accepted the fact and gave him few Moral science sessions in front of me.
From then I’m his self appointed Mentor- P(arents) R(elation ship) O(fficer) and in fact, holding the position even now!. Since I have a forgiving heart, I help him out frequently  nowadays, after reluctantly accepting his gifts.
…
Read this somewhere!
Feel your childhood
I want 2 go back to d time wen “Innocence”was “Natural”,
.
wen “Getting high” meant “On a swing”,
.
wen “Drinking” meant “coke”,
.
wen “Dad” was d only “Hero”,
.
wen “Love” was “Mom’s hug”,
.
wen “Dad’s shoulder” was d “The highest place on earth”,,
.
wen d only thing Tht cud
.
“Hurt” were”Bleeding knees”,
.
wen d only things “Broken” wer “Toys”,n wen “Goodbyes” only meant “Till 2moro”.
Life has changed a lot..
– Unknown